its. not. easy.

2011-02-24T03:31:00.002+08:00

i know typing this out is making me feel like a jerk.

i had no intention of hurting you. hurt your feelings. but if i would have continued wouldn't that be lying to myself and lying to you.

as days, months,years go on. i find my self or us attached to each other.

our life is universe apart. you have gotten almost the best deals in life. good family. good friends. anything you want you name it.

my life has been covered or rather blocked by a big forcefield ever since i was born. believe me when i say this.

i took upon making the decision my self. as i do not want you to feel what i felt. during the tour of my life. like i said. we are worlds apart.

i appreciated all your help and commitment towards me. after all those times.

its not because i had another girlfriend or anything like that. i just want you live your life as it is.pampered loved and showered with all the things you want.

i am nothing and i am hopeless

2010-11-17T00:36:00.001+08:00

Dropped off your keys last night

The front door still unpainted.
You were polite like ice,
I, once could met it.
You took our pictures down,
And you left them on the ground 
Its like you wiped all the memories,

2010-02-24T22:30:00.003+08:00

its the start of 2010.

well a good start. but aint a smooth one.

January 13th 2010 i thought was the best day of my life...

getting to see family and friends after 6 months of hardship.

but

as January 13th 2010 Sun started to fate to night.

i was hit. with a lightning bolt. a news that 1 son or brother wouldn't want to hear.

well. as the news kept playing in my mind..

i told my self to enjoy what ever is left.

as the deadline approaches fer me to return back to somebody else country

i prayed. that life of sorrows will end...and i was hoping things would change

but i was wrong.

what had struck me in january. is striking me harder then before.

harder then the month then i first step foot on this country tat i was selected to serve.

lines were drawn. better ones up..middle one center..lower ones. 1 corner. waiting for their time

things has started to change... ever since.

ego has started to take place.

lesson learnt. do not trust any body.. especially the ones u have help n who u call brothers

knife will just poke u from the back with sneak attacks.

main point is..do not trust anybody.

2009-12-22T20:40:00.001+08:00

maybe mom was right.

i shud think of my self. b4 i think for others.

put myself first before others.

2009-12-22T20:16:00.002+08:00

its been tough. it always has. maybe wad i did in the past which i didnt realise: might have made karma takes its place now...

all the while...i have been patient..

maybe.

i wasnt patient enough.

tinking back in the past...wad if i had chosen the hard life..instead of the easy life.

would tat change tings?

i never wanted tis...i never did...but its just written in the books tat god wrote fer us...

maybe tis is jus another chapter of life which may suck but fun for others.

its been said.

sometimes when u really down n got no one to talked too...u feel like tomoro the world is gonna end.

but. if tomoro is gonna end.....if its starts back. would u do the same ting all over again? n re-live back all the sorrows. misery. dissapointments?

sometings we used to or have been taking for granted....

the sorrows. misery.dissapointments.

only 1 very special pillar will stand by your side...n have been there since u ferst step on this place called earth.

FAMILY.

2009-07-11T01:29:00.002+08:00

when everyting falls....

new things arises...

it shud'nt have

it shud'nt be..

2008-12-26T03:10:00.003+08:00

Even married couple were once strangers.

2008-12-26T03:02:00.001+08:00

"What kind of future do I envision for myself? What kind of self am I trying to develop? What do I want to accomplish in my life?"

2008-12-26T02:55:00.004+08:00

Everyone born in this world has a unique role that only he or she can fulfill.

2008-09-05T15:42:00.000+08:00

What Afdal Means

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings.

You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun.

Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them.

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.

You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.

People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

2008-09-05T00:01:00.006+08:00

some of the photos from KL/LANGKAWI trip.

2008-09-04T23:51:00.003+08:00

BESTARI AWARD 2008...

2008-09-04T23:41:00.003+08:00

radio ria was blast.....thnx to 4pm fer giving me tat opportunity, thnx to ria aswell n iqa fer accompanying me

2008-09-04T23:26:00.003+08:00

bestari top 5 people interview..

2008-09-04T23:17:00.002+08:00

bdae party at tadika was fun....

happi bdae to batrisha....

2008-09-04T23:03:00.003+08:00

okae...4pm bestari induction was great...

played alot of games there...took alot of pics aswell....had a blast

2008-09-04T23:01:00.000+08:00

okae...im done with my bz august period....

now its september..n selamat berpuase...

busy-busy august

2008-07-31T22:53:00.006+08:00

well august is gonna be bz fer me...

1st aug.: cmpb second check up (hopefully things goes well)

2nd aug: 4pm bestari induction

5th aug: b'dae photographer

7th aug: bestari winners interview

8th aug: before marriage(nikah) photographer with dan

10th aug: wedding day. (photographer with dan)

12th aug: radio ria (yet to be comfirm)

21th aug : Bestari award.(photographer)

23rd aug to 28th aug. : langkawi trip

night shots

2008-07-31T01:17:00.003+08:00

my little nephew

2008-07-31T00:48:00.003+08:00

2008-07-31T00:42:00.002+08:00

orite...ferst of all...i got my new lappy already...wee...it was a free gift by starhub..haha...small lappy but its okae la...haha...n second ....i got my dSLR..wooohoo...it cost me a bundle...but it was all worth it...

eos 400d

2008-07-31T00:41:00.000+08:00

okae okae...i know i havent been updating my blog..hahaha...so i will be updating it now.

2008-06-25T03:56:00.009+08:00

4PM INTERGRATION CAMP.2008

its a well 4 days spent during the camp....the peeps of M.C.D make me laugh everyday...was kinda hoping my feedback last year to make the camp 1 week would come thru but it didnt..:(..but i can understand y...due to budget constrant....the dorms at nus werent tat cheap...aniwae...i am greatfull i gotten KECIK as my co-faci....:)

the place we were staying..nice uh..

aniwae if u were reading my previous post...i said i was working midnight shift the day b4 camp rite...when i got to the camp it self...its as if my tiredness and sleepyness was gone...n work was all behind me...it kinnda like a holidae to me..hahaha..but i was force by ain , kecik,boi n iqa to sleep...so i followed their order then...

KECIK.

kecik was my last year faci. during intergration 07. back then i was a camper..was greatful to have her....she was the fun n caring faci i ever knew....without u i don tink i can make it this far...so..thank you KECIK.

this girl here actually has 3 names plus 1 sur-name..hahabut i kindda forgot a few of the names...nvm...its tan bridget danniel dominque ryte?

kecik and me are proud of u for winning the best female camper award...congrats..

u were the energectic one in the group...came up with lotss of cheers fer the group...4 tat i salute u.

n yea...miss u guys in mcd loads

.

2008-06-25T02:20:00.003+08:00

ignore the date....is been a long time since i updated this

well on the 19th of june...which is on last thursdae i tink..woke up early and went to orchard to meet yaya....otw there...i was in the train....n i was sittngt beside a eurasian guy, chinese guy and me...around bedok i tink there was tis family of 5...mom.dad.son.daughter.n baby(cant tell the sex still to young)coincedencly...me and the 2 dudes stand up together to give up our seats..n we were looking at each other and the cabin peeps were looking at us....and after tat laughter burst out..it was the ferst time in my mrt riding days that i heard the whole cabin laugh tat loud..

the train..

after the day at town...went home to sleep....as i was working nite shift tat dae..got alot of calls from 4pm dudes....ain...ihsan...farhan....they called me to be a last min facci fer intergration camp...soo i agreed...went to work with a big bag....n went to camp after work...was in the cab...and uncle ask me...where are u from..n i ans...i was from perth...haha...kindda lied...but i laugh in my heart..hahaha...at least uncle entertain me..haha....reach there b4 ihsan did...n met farhan there.

soo next blog will be...u guess it....

4PM intergration....

im sick.

2008-06-18T04:07:00.004+08:00

urghh...im like sick...n my whole body is like aching...

it started wen i went 2 work after din's sis wedding...

not enough sleep i guess...went to work with my eyes stonning..

n with a fever n a flu...

hmm. i wonder y everyone is resigning now a days...ferst was

chen hau...then stacy...jenny shifted to part time...mid night crew..easier said...everybody...

today is the 18 of june....i guess my mc cafe days will be over soon....

wat hus said is correct...when we joined 6 months ago...tings were tottaly different...now tings have jus been wasted n flush down the drains...

n im still sick...i need a massage..my back hurts laaa....

i just hope tings are for the better...back then tings were simpler.

Last day :(

2008-06-15T03:41:00.004+08:00

well its my last day working with chen hau....(chen hau is resingning not me..)

had a fun time working with him every night...

he and his famous word (very cha-lak) will be missed.

so.take care bro..see you around in singapore or in J.B

Last pic...of Chen Hau.

Midnight madness

2008-06-15T03:28:00.003+08:00

midnight madness....

working midnight shift is totally fun...

the crew are like easy n fun goin people...

even though theres a rush in things are done right...

sometimes in work u must have fun too rite...

jus came out of the freezer..after doin stocktake for mac.

dating? 2 againsnt 1?

wat a dae

2008-06-13T04:07:00.002+08:00

hey dudes n babes...haha jus created this blog todae...n guess wat its..

FRIDAE

THE

13TH

jus wanna say hi to u guys yea...n thnx to husaini fer pastering me to open a blog acc.haha..

well todae is rather tiring....woke up late fer work and had 2 rush to bedok fer my attachment there..n was shocked 2 see all the crew there were also attached there...haha...n yea coincedently my fren from mac. kallang was attached 2 bedok too...soo i had a friend...work wasnt ttough actually...but to tell u the truth the kitchen crew and me were actually eating NUGGETS all the time when the manager is not around...lol....and i was the odd one out (besides the manager) i was wearing black shirt with a mc cafe logo behind...n customers started asking.. over here got mac cafe already eh? so i said no. im attached frm somewhere else...i had to like repeat tat 3 or 4 times to different customers..hahaha

well its fridae the 13th and at 2 am...i was scrathing my leg as it was itchy....n blood was all over my fingers...coincedent? hahaha...

n yea....im getting a new lappy weeeeeeeeeee......hahaha..thnx mum...

well this is it fer now...nitess...cheers...

nite has fallen.a new day will rise.